Barriers and Acceptance

So many of us have barriers. We are mostly unaware of them, until we try to question something like, 'Why can't I visualize myself?' Barriers also cause us to judge situations and people.
Experience builds our identity and ideas of how people should be. In gentleness, we must recognise our previous and current reactions. None of us are perfect. We tend to react then think about how we reacted. Everyone has something that they have said or done which they have regretted. So we must accept that occasion as it was then and understand it is in the past. Being able to understand that incident was right or wrong shows you have a conscience.
Fundamentally, we are individuals and each has their own identity. Inasmuch as we cannot change the past, we can change some parts of ourselves, or at least be at peace with ourselves. Understanding the nature of our self brings a certain peace. There will be parts of our nature we can improve and other aspects we can accept.
The ability to become at peace with the past is to accept it has happened and forgive yourself for what you have done and being ready to forgive others as necessary. The process of self-forgiveness can be helped by visiting a spiritual counsellor, be willing to open up to a therapist, or speaking to someone who will not judge you, whether known or not known to you.
Forgiving others can be difficult. Carrying the weight of unforgiveness is like carrying a rucksack of rocks. Forgiving others can help you and them. You may not forget the event, but you can accept that it happened. Not accepting it is like almost like you are trying to suppress or ignore it, like it ever happened. Try and view the event that happened to you as a film. Keep watching it until it just becomes another film. Acknowledge the actors, their roles and actions. Don't judge it. Just watch it. Accept it. Then place it on the shelf of memories.
Not accepting something, or not forgiving it, means that barrier will always be there. Some barriers are healthy, especially as we grow and learn as children. Other barriers need you to deconstruct them, not have someone else smash them down. You need to be in a mental place where you are comfortable to remove those barriers.
As you begin to accept yourself, know yourself and drop the barricades, you will realise every single person is the same: having issues such as, low self esteem, or being egocentric, belittling themself, and capable of doing extreme evil or good. Everyone is the same. By lowering your barriers you may find those, just like you, with the same things in common, the same weaknesses, same strengths. You will be able to relate to them and they to you.
So ask yourself: what barriers do I have? What do I need to forgive? Do I forgive myself? Do I accept what happened? Do I accept myself as I am, with all my faults and good points?
To accept others, me must first accept who we are. After all, it's easier to walk along life's highway without a heavy load, so don't carry around those rocks of unforgiveness & unacceptance.

Peace.