I've always had a predisposition to sitting and thinking. As a teenager, I recall sitting in the large, swivel armchair after dinner and just thinking, musing over things, looking at the books on my father's bookcase. I'd read the spines of the books. One day I finally opened up one of the books. It was about American history, the Indians, 'cowboys,' outlaws, and presidents. It was enthralling. Then I opened another book another time which was a history of western philosophy. I recall reading about the thinkers Monty Python referred to, Kant, Pascal, Nietzsche, et al. Being young, I kept re-reading the articles to try and understand them.
I was also a martial arts enthusiast and became immersed in the philosophy and thought of the far east. The music I listened to was instrumental, electronic and I enjoyed Erasure, Depeche Mode and Howard Jones, who was vegetarian and used philosophy in his lyrics. Inspired by Howard, I read the Tao te Ching and a book by Lin Yutang. Some of the other books I requested at the library the staff had never heard of, but they requested them from other, bigger libraries.
Then, after a long time and in the armed forces, I began to get back into my interests. I learnt about Rastafarianism, lived with a Sikh lady for a while, learnt about myths, Hinduism and studied the Bible intensely. At that time, I was also in a very bad place, mentally. The journey for me was just beginning.
I spent time with my maternal grandfather and we talked alot about the Bible and he gave his perspective as a Jehovah Witness. I also went on a pilgrimage to Lourdes with my local Roman Catholic church. At this point, I began to emerge from the dark place I'd been in. My parents took me to a healing event and this was the turning point for me.
Mum and Dad raised my sister and I in a stable Christian environment. We had attended Baptist and Anglican churches. I had given my life to Christ at a very young age, I was about 7-8yrs old and got confirmed at 14. I also went to an Elim Pentecostal church for a good while, with school friend, Geoffrey.
As an adult, I became intrigued by Buddhism and its similarities to Christianity. This led me on another part of my spiritual journey through Hinduism, back through Buddhism, Taoism and Zen / Chan. In my late thirties I began practicing Zen, not Zen-Buddhism. This took me back to the origins of Judaism/Christianity. I also began to share thoughts with the ACIM practitioners, with whom I have a deep affinity. [ACIM - A Course in Miracles]
When I was 39, I had an awakening and it was also at this time that I qualified as a teacher. Over the years, I gained other qualifications and found a love of learning. From Zen, I learnt alot about not judging. I was inclined to learn, and unlearn, things. I preferred the Rinzai Zen line, their use of koans and approach to enlightenment. I began reading alot of Thomas Merton's work and began to weave Zen into my Christian life. Many people confuse Zen and Zen Buddhism, and say you cannot mix them, but I believe you can. Zen is a way of life, that, ostensibly, the first Christian contemplatives followed. I felt no deep calling to join a monastic order, but I have frequently considered joining the priesthood and I still think this would be a possibility for me in the future.
I love learning and talking about different spiritual beliefs. I see a great beauty in them, especially the eastern religions. I have my opinions and beliefs, but don't impose them or preach them. However, I have preached sermons in church services. I have always encouraged prayer and believe in the power of prayer.
So what do I believe? I believe that there is God. I believe in the Holy Spirit and in salvation, through Christ. I believe in actions speaking more than pretty words. I practice Zen, in daily life, and meditation. I don't believe in imposing beliefs upon people. I don't believe in karma. I believe there is the Way, which can be observed in nature. I believe all things are connected and long to understand the nature and being of God, as I am fascinated by God. I have looked at how other faiths perceive God, and the relationship between humankind and God. It's not something I struggle with, but seek to explore. I've had many numinous encounters and am amazed by them. I know that there is power in prayer and faith, and I know God exists. I perceive God as a trinity, all parts being equal.
In my daily walk and spiritual journey, I've found how to apply my learning and synthesize it, actualize it. At this time, I find myself trying to help others on their journey of faith. I don't tell them, I await them asking. And people are asking. I don't prescribe a path, but ask them questions to assist them in their spiritual journey.
I've learnt alot and will continue to learn. I'm nicknamed, Guru or Roshi, the meadow master, but I am who I am and I'm not God. I try my best, try my hardest not to judge and prefer to act in a situation rather than react or just talk about the situation.
My heroes? Jesus, Abraham, Joseph, Ghandi, Dogen, Siddhartha Gautama, the Dalai Lama, the Karmapa, Ma-Tsu, Mo Tsu, Lao Tzu and anyone who makes a peaceful stand for change.
It's time for me to live the learning and I've started. The journey continues.
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